Forest: From crisis to quiet confidence

The start of this season was a strange one. After the sheer sense of relief at somehow ensuring survival in the championship at the end of last season, a flood of optimism arrived down the Trent (via Kuwait) in the form of the al-Hasawi family. As I wrote a piece about how the club could look to prosper in the future without the backing of an owner with deep pockets, we were promptly snapped up by one, immediately rendering a lot of my points obsolete. With 13 games gone, it gives me an excuse to have a look back and see how Forest have fared with the first (approximately) quarter of the season already down on paper.

Defence

Like Luke Chambers. But Spanish. And not playing for a side rooted to the bottom of the Championship.

It was less of a spring clean at the City Ground over the closed season than a wholesale clearance sale. Except that to have a sale, you have to exchange a product for money. We were more allowing neighbours to come into the house and pick what they fancied, such was the contract mess with several players. 5 players in total left the club on free transfers; with some greater losses to the club than others (see Anderson, Paul and Chambers, Luke). But, with the sale of Gunter to Reading and the beguiling decision of Freeman to request a transfer from a regular place on the Forest bench to a regular place on Derby's bench; the club were left with only one senior defender. The recruitment of an entire back four was a priority; and was surprisingly completed without problem. Greg Halford and Dan Harding joined from both '-hampton'-based clubs; whilst the Reds recruited Danny Collins from the potteries to provide solid base to the central defence. These three have played well, and although prone to the odd mistake, have proven themselves to be as good as the individual players they replaced. And Dan Harding is a left back; a position the club had appeared to have retired out of respect to a certain former left-sided fullback. The club complemented these permanent recruitments with Sam Hutchinson, a loanee from Chelsea who has impressed whenever he has played; a young fullback with a promising career at a higher level than this; if he can beat his injury woes. Flying in from the far east (Norfolk) Daniel Ayala has, after a shaky start, grown into his position at central defence; and after a small injury woe, Norwich have even been nice enough to send us a courtesy defender (Ward) whilst he recovers.

Defensively, the club have been generally solid. At home, only 3 clubs have conceded less and only 2 clubs away from home have conceded less (although another 4 clubs have performed as well defensively as the reds on the road). However, despite the good defensive stats, the club have only been able to keep a clean sheet twice all season, which isn't a problem when we're scoring; but could pose a problem if we encountered another lean spell like last winter. The foundation of these good defensive performances has been the man between the sticks, as Lee Camp has seen a return to form after some less than impressive performances at times last season. Despite my oft-repeated statement to Forest-supporting friends that Camp will make at least one stupid fumble in every game; he has made some outstanding saves; and is playing with a confidence we haven't seen since the Scottish-manager-who-will-remain-nameless was in charge.

7/10

Midfield

Guedioura and Reid celebrate the Irishman's equaliser at Bolton

Forest seem to have a wealth of midfield players. Even last year, when we were woeful, you could man an invasion of the Isle of Wight with midfielders sat on the bench, contributing little. We still have a glut of midfielders, and could still take Cowes with some of those who don't make the starting XI, but we seem to have a better set on and off the pitch. Last season's fan favourite from the Black Country, Adlène Guedioura, made his stay more permanent, and has helped provide a creative spark in the centre of the pitch (and, with referee's enough practice at spelling his surname, after 4 bookings and 2 dismissals). The very exciting signing of ex-Arsenal starlet Henri Lansbury, has so far, seen injury restrict his ability to leave an impression on the side; but has shown glimpses of his talent in the games he has featured in. James Coppinger, on loan from Doncaster has offered another option on the wing. Possibly the most important signing of Sean O'Driscoll's new-look Forest side, and the best value signing in the division; is Simon Gillett. The midfielder, a free transfer from South Yorkshire, has filled the much-missed void left by Paul McKenna's departure last season, breaking up play and initiating many attacks. 

But new arrivals aren't the totality of the story. Andy Reid and McGugan have continued their good form from the back-end of last season, both contributing a number of goals from set pieces. Reidy in particular, has become one of my personal favourite players, possessing a physically improbable ability to remain agile, dance away from defenders, and yet still look like he's enjoyed one or two many basket of Wings from Hooters. Joining Reid is another past favourite, Jenas. He's not really had a chance to shine, but has still managed to get on the scoresheet. And whilst talking of fan favourites, this season has seen the return of Chris Cohen after a lengthy absence through Injury. On his day, Cohen is far and away the best player in our squad, possibly in the division. I'll skip the cliches, that have been oft-written about Cohen; but needless to say, I'm glad we have him back.

8/10

Attack

Billy Sharp celebrates opening the scoring at Bloomfield Road by having a bite of a fan's hot dog. 

We've managed to rid ourselves of several goal-shy strikers (quite literally sending McGoldrick to Coventry), and have brought in a new look strike-force. And, on paper, it is a forward line that should give most defenders a headache. Previous target Simon Cox has finally been snapped up from West Brom, and has been joined by another previous darling of Doncaster, Billy Sharp. Dex has found a great goalscoring form, with 4 goals already, getting us out of jail plenty of times. And (something, something) Tudgay. 

We've been a little Jekyll and Hyde with regards goalscoring however. At times, we've struggled to create much or breakthrough; whilst recently, we've managed to put three past current leaders Cardiff City. We already have 11 different goalscorers, and after Sharp's broken his scoring duck, we can only hope he'll find the same form that won him plaudits at the Keepmoat.

7/10

The Manager

SO'D, proving you can be a decent manager without having to start arguments with the chairman week in, week out

O'Driscoll has been a breath of fresh air. For too long we've either had dysfunctional managers who enjoy airing out dirty laundry in the open, blaming fans, shady 'transfer acquisition panels' or unseen 'dark forces'; or tactically useless managers who bypass the midfield or are called 'Colin'. SO'D has got us playing nice football; and although he has got line-ups wrong and at times has been outmanoeuvred tactically (surprisingly enough, by the duff Clough) - but we've only lost twice this season. He's managed to make substitutions that have changed games, and won us a number of points. He's quietly turning us into dark horses that could sneak into the top six come the end of the season.

8/10

Summary

So far, so good. Apart from a slight wobble in September, we've impressed at times, and are proving hard to beat. All we need now, is to be able to find a way to convert draws into wins, and we can begin to believe that Forest might be possible of more than just midtable consolidation.

The science of nonsense

Science is brilliant. I mean, it's given us so much. Pasteurisation. Electricity. Immunisation. The ability for anyone to send celebrities on the other side of the world abusive messages over the internet. And, finally, mankind's progress has peaked. Never will anything better be invented. We should shut down CERN, sell off NASA and convert laboratories worldwide into branches of Greggs and SportsDirect. Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you: L'oreal Paris Revitalift Laser Renew.

Now, it's fairly clear to most people that all other anti-ageing creams are almost always no better for skin than smearing your face in industrial slurry; but this is a different kettle of chips, apparently. Here's my blow by blow deconstruction of some poor marketing intern's piss poor attempt at science.

1. 'Imagine if you could laser renew your skin'

The advert starts brilliantly, asking the viewer to imagine what life might be like if you could harness the power of photons emitted from excited atoms to effectively time-travel your skin back a decade or so. Of course, lasers can only really revitalise skin by slicing off the saggy bits. Just ask Bond if, when strapped to a metal table with a high powered laser powerful enough to slice through gold bars, the first thought to cross his mind was 'Oh well, at least the skin around my gentlemen's area will be renewed'. So, firstly, the concept of lasers doing skin any good is a fairly hard one to grasp.

2. 'Hyaluronic Acid' and 'Pro-Xylane'

I thought at first 'Hyaluronic Acid' was one of those pretend substances that screenwriters like to chuck into movies to 'fill the gaps' in real science, like turbidium, kryptonite and the laughably named 'Unobtanium'. But, a cursory search on that well respected scientific knowledge repository (wikipedia), revealed that 'Hyaluronan' actually exists. Apparently, it's pumped under the skin to smooth out wrinkles, a little like an internal Polyfilla. So maybe it does work. Pro-Xylane, is also, apparently, the latest 'big thing' in 'anti-ageing "science"'. But these chemicals aren't included in this advert due to any alleged youth inducing properties they may have. It;s because they look sciencey. How can you doubt something with THREE PERCENT Pro-Xylane. It could cause your face to melt into a dermatologically youthful puddle; but who cares BECAUSE THERE'S MORE OF IT THAN EVER. It sounds complicated, so it must work!

3. Vague Claims

Insert vague claims about skin appearing 'firmer' and wrinkles 'reduced'. They could have referenced some clinical studies that could provide evidence for the biblical qualities of Hyaluronic Acid, Pro-Xylane, whatever they have in it, to really back up their claims. Heck, even the standard '80% of women tested could tell the difference' statement based on a survey of a dozen participants would have added more gravitas. But they don't have this either. What they do have instead though is...

4. The Daily Mail.

"IT REALLY WORKS" - The Daily Mail. Evidence from the most respected scientific organ (albeit it, the appendix) is the proof they are going to sell this product on. The validity of any scientific claims made by the paper which is obsessed with classifying every object known to man into either a cause of or a cure for cancer are, arguably, questionable. One can be forgiven that if the Daily Mail states that something 'REALLY WORKS', you may want to seek a second opinion from a more reputable scientific journal. Like Nuts.

5. 'Trust Science'

The ironic end to an advert that uses science as nothing more than a glossy veneer of respectability to sell yet another identikit anti-ageing cream. I've seen programmes featuring Derek Acorah which promote a greater trust in science.

Today a man broke the sound barrier protected by nothing more than a big coat and a helmet. That's what science is really about. Unfortunately, it seems to be invoked more to sell overpriced cosmetics to people worried about their appearance, than to explore the world around us.

From an album launch to a city relaunch

Usually, the most interesting thing in a shop at 4pm on a Sunday is the sight of shop assistants willing the last 30 minutes of opening to travel quicker than a proton round a hadron collider. Last Sunday at 4pm, a small record shop played host to something fairly more intriguing than bored staff members; as indie group Dog is Dead played a short acoustic set to celebrate the launch of their debut album; All Our Favourite Stories. The band were great, with the intimate atmosphere of the store providing a perfect venue for Dog is Dead's mellow, laid back indie sound; scaled back to the basics. The album is a a rewarding listen, alternating from up-tempo pop songs such as Glockenspiel Song; to more languid tracks such as Get Low, which have clear echoes of Bombay Bicycle Club. Some of the tracks feel a tad too long, but this is a small point. Maybe the most exciting thing (well, to me, maybe), is that the band hail from Nottingham.

Nottingham has hardly ever left any kind of impression on the British music scene. Whilst venues such as Rock City are a staple on many bands' tour itineraries (and the Ice Arena plays host to a whole plethora of chart cloggers), the city's bands hardly make it beyond the county boundaries. When compared to places such as Sheffield, Leeds, Bristol, Oxford and Newcastle, it becomes apparent just how much of a dearth of breakthrough music acts Nottingham has suffered from. It seems to be entangled with a much greater image problem the city has. Nottingham is seen as city blighted by gun crime and gang warfare. Even the city's most notable resident is, technically, a criminal. Nottingham's image problem is persistent, with the writer behind BBC's drama Murder:Joint Enterprise described Nottingham as 'murder capital of the UK'. 

Image problems, can be overcome however. Sheffield is a case and point. Portrayed in 'The Full Monty' as a city ruined by the industrial decline of the eighties, intensive regeneration has led to the transformation of the steel city into a modern and vibrant place. It is not inconceivable that Nottingham could shed its image problems, especially with the renovation of the station and the Broadmarsh shopping centre (a place so desolate that it resembles the apocalyptic aftermath of a bad science fiction movie). Maybe this potential upturn in fortunes can be linked to the beginnings of a breakthrough for the Nottingham music scene. Alongside Dog is Dead, singer Jake Bugg is starting to make waves with his Bob Dylan-influenced brand of folk music; with his own debut album soon to be released. It is a small start, but hopefully the momentum will bring with it more artists and musicians with the quality to make it on a bigger stage. And, as a parallel, maybe Nottingham can better the tired stereotypes, and reinvent itself as a modern city.

Damn those hazy 'Summer Daze' (with Blackberry)

When John Logie Baird first managed to transmit an image through the air to a box, which could then reproduce the image, he must stood and wondered what possibilities his machine offered mankind. Maybe he foresaw the broadcast of the first moon landings; the advent of a television service where we can watch any event unfolding anywhere live; maybe he envisaged a world where television is so prevalent it holds pride of place in almost every room in the house. You can even get a television built into a bed. A frigging TellyBed! Could he have imagined that!? However; if he was half the visionary that he is remembered as, he would probably have predicted that in 87 years time, his invention would be used to broadcast T4's 'Summer Daze with Blackberry'.

Very 'Skins'

If you haven't heard of Summer Daze with Blackberry, I'll outline the premise briefly. A group of eminently shallow characters move from different festivals (mostly in the UK, but they pay a brief visit to 'Ibiza Rocks), with some vague semblance of 'plot' strained to cover up the fact that the program is simply a 30 minute infommercial for RIM's Blackberry line of phones. I use the term 'plot' sparingly however, as it is mostly just the different members of the cast sleeping with each other in varying combinations (of course, keeping in contact using the excellent and brilliant Blackberry Messenger Service, exclusive to Blackberrys and in no way comparable to a plethora of other apps available on other phones, say, Whatsapp). And for a program set in different 'music festivals', which are generally renown for containing live music, there is surprisingly, well, little music. The episode set at Latitude (unfortunately, I didn't see them there) featured all of 45 seconds of Metronomy's set; so 4 days of music condensed down into less than a minute. For a gang of people who are touring music festivals, they all seem too preoccupied with their Blackberry-brand smart phone, and couldn't really give a rhino's arse that they're missing the music, and more generally, the point.

Generic member of cast #1

Summer Daze with Blackberry is the culmination of two modern trends in television. The first is structured reality shows. This isn't necessarily a bad thing (I have a guilty enjoyment of Made In Chelsea), but it has a tendency to resort to the absolute base level of entertainment (think 'Geordie Shore'). You could simply stick a camera into any branch of Yate's on a Friday night and attain the same level of entertainment, for a fraction of the cost. The second development is the blatant product placement. It's now legal for product placement in British TV, so long as the viewer is informed before the show (by a voiceover and/or the 'MAGIC P' logo). But there's a line to be drawn between 'product placement' (e.g. Jamie Oliver using Heinz Ketchup prominently) and 'product programmes' (e.g. a programme about some yoofs travelling round festivals mostly flashing a certain phone about with the name of the phone in the title). Will more shows become extended adverts, punctuated by sex and bad acting by nobodies. Will anyone care?


John Logie Baird probably won't. We don't even use his TV's anymore.


To finish my blog, here's some photos of phones you can buy instead of Blackberrys. They're probably better than Blackberrys, and if you buy one, marketing executives at RIM will hopefully not help fund a second series of this dross.

Not a blackberry

Also not a blackberry

Again not a blackberry

None of these are blackberrys either.

May lack 'BBM', but makes up for it by not funding awful programmes.

The future needn't be bleak for a frugal Forest.

The future for Forest remains unclear, as off-the-pitch machinations determine exactly what next season could hold for the club. Regardless of the wealth of the new owners, it should be a priority of the club to become as sustainable as possible. This means no more unaffordable marquee signings, or last big paydays for ageing Premier League journeymen. With a possible exodus from the City Ground this summer, the immediate future seems bleak. For what it’s worth, here are my thoughts on how the team can be organised to try and guarantee us Championship safety (if not more) on a smallish budget.

Both Cohen and Blackstock have been major losses for the Reds this season

“It's the skewer, isn't it? In the shish kebab”

Any successful team needs a strong backbone on which to build a team around, and I believe Forest have the makings of one of the strongest in the division. Up front there’s Blackstock, leading the line and holding the ball up. Cohen, in the middle of the pitch, is the engine; chasing every ball; hopefully returning to a level of play which means we won’t miss the hugely impressive Guedioura. If we can keep hold of Lynch (who should be the priority to keep), he’s proven himself to be a more than capable, and ever improving, centre back. Injuries to Blackstock and Cohen certainly dented the Red’s chances of a better season; and I think establishing continuity with this trio provides a solid basis on which to hang other players off. Of course, with Cohen looking like he’ll miss the start of next season, whether Cotterill will have these three available to play week in, and week out is improbable. Lynch looks increasingly set to leave on a free, but hopefully the club can make a strong enough case for him to stay.

After spells at the Stags and the Magpies, is it Freeman's time to make his mark at Forest?

“You’ll win nothing with kids”

Despite the winter departure of Bamford to the much wealthier Chelsea postcode; academy players could have a huge role to play in the club’s fortunes. Kieron Freeman has made waves across the Trent at County, winning the Football League's young player of the month award; and, rather amazingly, is a left-back! For once, a transfer window can pass without a desperate scramble for a left-sided defender; and he’s certainly earned himself a shot at making the position his own. Jamaal Lascelles has impressed on loan at League One play-off hopefuls Stevenage; and has reportedly had attention from Premier League sides. Hopefully he too can make the step up to the main side with time; especially with the potential dearth of central defenders. With Camp coming up for criticism; and fan opinion split on Paul Smith; Karl Darlow could make a case for at least a place on the subs bench. He too has performed impressively on loan; and whilst it’s only at Newport, maybe soon it’s time to start giving him a few run-outs in cup matches.

Reid played a pivotal role Forest's survival this season

Using what we’ve got...

Whilst there was a lot of justified criticism of players throughout the season; it must be remembered that a lot of these players are still very good at this level of football (despite appearances). Now, despite the opinions of some fans, Majewski isn’t the answer to every problem posed. But he never got a fair chance under either McClaren or Cotterill, and I think that if allowed to play in a creative central role, could certainly help the team find goals that were missing all so much. Like many, I was sceptical to see Andy Reid return; convinced he’d turned up for one last pay check. But, his work rate and skill have surprised, especially towards the latter end of the season. Someone told me that they thought he should be awarded the captain’s armband next season, and I’m inclined to agree. And there’s the permanent question mark over Matt Derbyshire’s head. He’s proven himself to be a prolific tweeter, but whether he will be given another chance (or deserves another chance) to demonstrate his eye for a goal is another question.

McCleary ran riot against an awful Leeds side; but can Forest find another non-league gem?

...and getting what we've not

The club never really replaced Earnshaw with a natural finisher. The age-old search for a 20-goal-a-season striker lingers; but at the new frugal Forest, this search will have to be conducted in the lower leagues. The scouting system can obviously find good players from smaller clubs (see the now in-demand McCleary); but efforts should be refocused on young hungry talent, rather than established players out of our shopping basket. With the apparent youthfulness of the Red’s defence next season; Higginbotham should be a target to provide experience and a level head. With McCleary’s departure looking gloomily inevitable; another pacey winger on the right seems to be a priority; unless Anderson can be utilised in a way that saw him light League One alight with Swansea.

It looks as though Forest are approaching a new era in the club’s management. With sensible and effective planning, the cost-effective approach doesn’t have to be the losing approach.

How the press have constructed Roy for failure.

Now, for something completely different: a story about Roy Hodgson getting the England job!

Martin Samuel has written a passionate defence of Englishsports journalism, especially with regards to the hounding of England managers. He states that journalists want good results, and it can only ever be 90 minutes on a football pitch that determines the fate of a manager. It almost had me fooled. Until this.

Pinnacle of humour. Honest.

Just harmless fun. Well, it presents Roy Hodgson as an almost comedic character, who shouldn’t be taken seriously. A little nibble at his credibility. It’ll continue as well. Little jibes on the back page; little one-liners; each slowly eroding public confidence and belief in his abilities. Not informed by ‘results’ or 90 minutes on the pitch. Informed simply because the press didn’t get their man. To put it into context; could you imagine the same paper putting a front page story mocking Harry Redknapp’s basic illiteracy? No. Ok, there are no obvious puns to do with an inability to read or write; but there’s also the respectability that the press have created for Redknapp throughout the past decade or so. Roy has always been held as a sort of comedic relief for the press; a pretender. He’s failed at Liverpool and Blackburn, can only win things with small clubs in small leagues. He doesn’t really count. I believe Hodgson has a range of failings (I’m not sure whether he’ll be able to keep into check the egos that currently play for our country, for example); but that has been contributed to by the fact he’s been constructed by the press as a manager who ‘just isn’t good enough’.

Harry modelling West Ham's range of attractive pyjamas outside a housing estate in Peckham

Compare this to Redknapp. I’m not going to carry out a scientific or representative survey; but Redknapp has received mostly positive press attention; and not without merit. His Spurs side have been a joy to watch at times. But since Capello’s resignation, and the subsequent freefall of Spurs; the criticism has been laid at the feet of the players. ‘Distracted’; ‘heads not with it’. The criticism wasn’t laid at Harry’s door; it was the players’ fault. There are some other managers who would find such a slump in form would be their own fault. Redknapp was one of the contenders for the job; but the press clamoured for him as soon as the role was available. If an expert is telling you that Redknapp is the best option; then people will believe that Redknapp is the best option. Similarly, if people are telling you that the moon is made of cheese, well you might just start believing the moon is made of cheese.

Where Charlie Adam's penalty ended up eventually. On a cheese moon

To believe the media have no sway over public opinion on football is naïve at best. The tabloid press have always had the ability to control and frame the discussions surrounding the national game; especially the England managers job. They choose what to report and what not to mention. They choose which rumours merit a discussion, and which are simply thrown to the floor. They determine which angle will become the hegemonic representation churned out and plastered onto the back pages for years to come. A chance to knock someone down always sells more than a chance to build them up.

I’m sure Roy of the (Blackburn) Rovers has grown a thick skin, but it’s not just about him. It’s about the control football journalism holds over the debates surrounding our national game. Redknapp not getting the job isn’t the same as Clough not getting the job. To say the two aren’t in the same ballpark is an understatement. Clough is in the directors box, whilst Redknapp's watching it in the pub 200 miles away. But yet, the press believe it is, and so therefore add a layer of mystique to the already 'constructed' character of Harry Redknapp.

Hodgson could be a terrible choice. But the press should let him ruin it for himself, instead of going out of their way to ruin it for him.

Olympic Advert Bingo

In celebration of the fact it's only about 100 days until the London 2012 Olympic games, I'd thought I treat all you faithful readers to a FREE gift! Below is a 'cut out and keep' Olympic Advert Bingo card, for you to print out and play 'Olympic Advert Bingo' FOR FREE in the long, laborious run up to the start of the games.

HOW TO PLAY

1. Settle down in front of the television, and get your bingo card ready.
2. When the adverts start, keep your eyes peeled to see whether any of the characteristics listed on the bingo card appear.
3. If you find an advert with one of the characteristics, cross it off.
4. Continue playing for the duration of the advert break.
5. First person to get a row or a column gets a 'bingo', first person to get all ticked off wins a 'house'*!
6. If no-one has a 'bingo' or 'house', continue the game into the next ad break
7. Want to play again? Simply print off another bingo card and wait in front of the TV

So there you have it, a short, sweet blog post today; but an eternity of fun to be had. FOR FREE!


*Not a real house